For the longest time, I have struggled to understand this topic. We are always told ‘forgive and forget’ but very little explanation is given on what it means to forgive. Now that I have a basic understanding, I’d like to share maybe help those stranded like I was.

I wanted to paraphrase the definition of forgiveness from Wikipedia but it’s too long, you can read it here. According to my understanding, forgiveness is repaying to yourself a dept that someone owes you. A bit confusing huh? Let me explain;

When someone wrongs you, it cost you something, either physically or emotionally. At this point you have two options, either make them pay or let them go and absorb the cost yourself. The latter option is to forgive. Notice that either way the dept has to be paid. For example, a friend accidentally knocks your smartphone and the screen breaks making it unusable. In these times staying without a phone is unrealistic?. So you either make your friend buy a new phone or you let them go (it was an accident anyway) and buy a new phone. Either way your phone will be replaced. It gets a little more complicated when it comes to emotional depts. One day while arguing with your friend (hopefully another one) it gets heated and they say some mean and hurtful words to you. Again, it costs you but this time it’s emotional. So you can either make them pay or you can release them from the dept and absorb the high cost yourself.

With emotions it’s a little more tricky to make them pay. You may get a chance and retaliate or not. If you do get a chance to retaliate and maybe insult them and embarrass them it is still not a guarantee that the cost will be fully paid. If you don’t get a chance to make them pay you remain holding a dept that hurts so much inside and maybe even the person who wronged forgot about it or doesn’t even know they wronged you. There, forgiving is the only viable option. It is however, easier said than done. Forgiving emotional stuff costs a high price but it is worth it for the sake of emotional health. Also, I will later explain a greater help and motivation.

What about Justice?

Forgiveness and justice are linked. Forgiveness is like a chapter in the book of justice. Remember how I keep saying that the price has to be paid? Well, thats justice. Justice is like a financial audit where assets and liabilities must balance in the balance sheet. (I don’t know much about accounting but I think the analogy works.) If someone has been wronged and the price is yet to be paid, there is unbalance in justice. Thus this person harbors a grudge until the price is paid. If they choose to forgive however, justice is satisfied and they obtain peace. Forgiveness is therefore a part of justice and does not contradict it. Contradiction may occur if the forgiveness wasn’t complete ie the price wasn’t paid. For example I forgave someone yet I am still angry and want to see them suffer for what they did to me.

It is not good to be partial to the wicked and so deprive the innocent of justice.
Proverbs 18:5 NIV

So how does God forgive?

When we sin, we are indebted to God. God is also perfect in everything. So God is so just, He is Justice itself (Job 34:12 ). The price for any and all sin no matter how small is death (Rom 6:23). So applying the same principle, God can either make us pay or pay for the sin Himself. God loved us so much He gave us the choice. When Jesus was on the cross He took all our sins so that God’s wrath was satisfied. Only a perfect/sinless human could pay for the sin of humans but only God could bear it. That’s why Jesus became a man and died so we wouldn’t have to. This part is a lot deeper and I will explain in a future post. This forgiveness however that we have received so freely is the motivation we need to do the same. It is very hard to forgive, yet Stephen forgave those who were stoning him before He died in the same words Jesus used on the cross. Such is the radical forgiveness we are called to as children of God and that is why God has promised to help.

for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
Philippians 2:13 NIV

There may be people who wronged you long ago and you still harbor the bitterness. Always ask the Holy Spirit to reveal them to you, and when He does act immediately. Always remember that His Grace is sufficient and even though it is hard and sometimes impossible nothing is hard nor impossible for God.