In mathematics, asymptotes are lines that approach one another but never meet. Like an asymptote, my knowledge of love and how it relates to obedience is ever increasing but it will never hit a point that I fully understand it. This post entails my journey and my “almost conclusion” so far.
It is clear in the Bible that love and obedience are related.
Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”
John 14:21 NIV
So what comes first? Does obedience result in love or does love result in obedience? Let us examine the implications of the first case.
Obedience
From the oxford dictionary “obedience is compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority.” If love was a fruit of obedience, then every slave would love their master or you would love your boss. This kind of obedience is usually out of obligation or fear and never results in love. Another thing that we notice is that obedience is not an independent quality. From this, we can conclude that love is the root and obedience is the fruit. Let us confirm with scripture.
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 10:37 NIV
Jesus compares love for Him with that of parents for their children. Since parents are not required to obey their children, the dependence of love on obedience is broken.
What is love?
Defining love can be a little tricky. Over the years my definition has also evolved matching with the council I was subscribed to at the time.
The most common definition of love is “An intense feeling of affection.” Can love really be a feeling? I don’t know much about feelings and the psychology behind them but I do know from experience that we do not have direct control over them. Feelings are usually situational, coming and going as they please. You can say love is different since it’s an intense feeling but that would imply we have no direct control. Hence the phrase “falling in love.” But if we have no control over who to love, how can it be commanded of us?
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:29-31 NIV
God gave us free will so we can choose to love Him. Therefore, love is more than a feeling or an intense feeling for that matter.
Another popular view is that love is a consequence of our actions. Or a sum of how we treat our beloved. This view, however, takes us back to the problem of love as a fruit of obedience but this time with a few things added. But as we have seen before, love is an independent quality. However, I think there is some truth to this view.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
Here Paul defines love using actions. This shows that there is a relationship between love and what we do. From the text, love is not a sum of action but actions are evidence of love. For example, the entire creation is evidence of God’s glory and power and not the sum. Evidence for something is not necessarily its definition. So to define love we have to go back to the Word of God. For we cannot define love without God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:8 NIV
God is the definition of love. To understand love means to understand God. For everything He does flows from love. Our God, Yahweh, is a Trinity of three persons. Thus, even before He created anything, the three persons of the Trinity have lived in perfect love since eternity past. The greatest outpouring of love is seen in Jesus’ finished work at the cross.
From Jesus’ example, love is desiring someone or something so much that you surrender your best for them. We can never truly love unless God enables us. And that is why love comes under the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
When we love
Before we examine what happens when we love God, How do we love Him? God is so beautiful, words cannot express, so kind and generous and so much more. The way to love Him is to simply know Him. The more you know Him the more you love Him. To know God, you have to seek Him, spend time with Him and pour out your heart to Him. You can rely on His promise that whoever seeks Him, finds Him.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13 NIV
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.
Proverbs 8:17 NIV
There are many more such promises. And we can hold God to His word because we know it’s ever true.
Even though we are imperfect beings and can never truly love God the way He deserves, our love for Him is ever increasing. Loving God simply means surrendering more and more to Him with all our hearts. His love then overflows in us then we are able to love our neighbor. When we love God we are able to give our all to Him and put down our idols not because we have to but because we want to. His commands then become a delight and not a burden.
In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome,
1 John 5:3 NIV
This is what Jesus meant when He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Obedience to God doesn’t come automatically when you love Him, you still have to choose to obey Him. The only difference is that when you love Him, obedience will not be a burden to you. You will also not use your obedience (or lack of) as a measure of your righteousness because knowing God you’ll understand that He has given you righteousness as a free gift.